I remember at sixteen when Jeremy drove out of the driveway the first time by himself - I said to God "I am releasing him to You, God. I love my son so much-yet I know You love him so much more than I do. Please help him to make wise choices and keep Your Hand upon him." I did this again when he left for college....when he drove to VA Beach to intern for the summer by himself. The morning of his wedding - I walked the beach by myself and did it yet AGAIN. This time not only was I releasing him again to God, but also releasing him to his wife.
And Nate - WHEW!! I've had to release each time as well. And Nate going off to Chicago for college and now spending the entire summer studying overseas has stretched my faith and trust in God even more with my boy!!!
Honestly - as much as I love my sons, I know for them to be the men, husbands and fathers I would want them to be - I have to know that it would be different...that I would have to let them go. I have no doubt whatsoever that my boys love me, but I know that in order to do the job God has called me to - I've got to cut the "apron strings". I want my boys to be MEN!! In doing so - I can be at peace that all the things Ron and I have done to prepare the boys as they were growing up truly worked.
I'll share advice Ron has given me - every time you think about calling the boys...don't! (because I'd think of a reason to call them everyday - several times a day!! haha) If I have something I need to tell one of the boys - I text/email him and don't expect a response unless my message required one.
So just know that I feel your pain...that I'm praying for you...that your heart will survive this because I know deep inside you too want your son to be a self-sufficient, independent young man who makes wise choices...and that God truly does love your son as much as He loves His Son!!!
I'll also pray for God to give you the strength to hold up for your son - it's okay for him to know that you are going to miss him, but he needs to see that you trust God and that you also trust him and the young man he is becoming to let him go....