You have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
that my glory may sing Your praise and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever" Psalm 31:11-12 ESV
Unfortunately, like many of you - I have experienced a lot of junk in my life. Some were a result of my own poor choices...some no fault of my own. Either way - these were very hard times in my life. I struggle even as I type these words as to how much I share...what are my reasons for sharing...yet I know that God's Word is TRUTH!! God did not cause these events to happen in my life, yet He has and continues to use each and every one for His good. How you ask?? Let me explain my take on some of my story. This is only - "my story"...
Many of you know that I am in my second marriage. My first marriage was to someone I loved very much, but who was so very different from me...in all the wrong ways. Our whole outlook and goals in life were different and the things I always told myself didn't matter when we were dating - really did when we were married!! I went into the marriage thinking I could change him into the person I needed him to be (and I'm sure he felt the same way about me) and we know how that turns out. Needless to say, it ended after 9 years of marriage. My self esteem was at its lowest. Yet, the huge blessing that came out of my marriage was our son, Jeremy. For all the hurt and pain during my first marriage - for no other reason, I would do it again.
During my first marriage, I became pregnant with my second child. I was so excited! I loved having siblings and wanted Jeremy to enjoy the same experience. Of course, I prayed for a healthy baby, but also selfishly desired a daughter. During my routine 20 week ultrasound, it was discovered that our baby had a terminal chromosonal defect and had no chance of survival. We were devastated. Our precious baby...our precious baby girl who we named Mary Catherine that I never got to hold is in Heaven. And yet God, through His mercy, did bless Jeremy with a sibling. He brought Ron and Nate into our lives! Jeremy and Nate are closer than any two brothers I know!! Thank you Jesus!
And I could share the time when Ron and I took a leap of faith and purchased our own business which we thought was the "dream of a lifetime" and how it didn't turn out as we had planned...or when we took a step of faith and Ron surrendered to fulltime vocational ministry not knowing how we would continue to pay our mortgage...or an even bigger step of faith when we answered an incredible calling from God and we joined other families to plant a church in our own hometown (crazy, huh?). Each of these stretched us tremendously, yet God used each of those to mold us and lead us to where we are today! He has blessed us beyond our wildest imaginations.
But why am I sharing any of these events at all? Because God has indeed used each and every one to mold me into the person I am today. I was not even a Christian until my early 30's which was after my divorce. Oh, how God has poured out His love, mercy and grace into my life through my times of mourning....
And I could share the time when Ron and I took a leap of faith and purchased our own business which we thought was the "dream of a lifetime" and how it didn't turn out as we had planned...or when we took a step of faith and Ron surrendered to fulltime vocational ministry not knowing how we would continue to pay our mortgage...or an even bigger step of faith when we answered an incredible calling from God and we joined other families to plant a church in our own hometown (crazy, huh?). Each of these stretched us tremendously, yet God used each of those to mold us and lead us to where we are today! He has blessed us beyond our wildest imaginations.
But why am I sharing any of these events at all? Because God has indeed used each and every one to mold me into the person I am today. I was not even a Christian until my early 30's which was after my divorce. Oh, how God has poured out His love, mercy and grace into my life through my times of mourning....
Allowing God to use all the "junk" in my life I can truly say to others "I know what you are going through...". It has been one of life's greatest blessings. To my God alone be all the glory!!
So yes - God has turned my mourning into dancing and I will give Him thanks forever!!
What have you allowed God to use in your life to turn your mourning into dancing?
Cheryl, Thank you for sharing this! As I am in one of the lowest points of my life I look at others and admire their 'perfect' life and 'perfect' family never knowing from where they came and what trials they have gone through to get to where they are. It's comforting and encouraging to remember that God will use these trials for good and turn my mourning into dancing one day.
ReplyDeleteOh my precious friend...the key here is to allow God to use You!! Allow God to use these times of mourning to comfort others as this is how he uses them for His good. My life verses are 2 Corinthians 1:3-7...as I have so often been able to comfort others in the same way as God has brought comfort to me.
ReplyDeleteLifting you up in prayer...
Cheryl, I too am married to my dance partner-for-life, only after a disasterous 1st marriage. When we came to Clarksville 18 years ago, I was often too ashamed to let people know I'd gone through a divorce. After all, good Christains didn't do that, right? But like you, God has turned my mourning to dancing and shown Himself so faithful in my life and allowed me to be a part of His work in ways I never dreamed possible. He is so good! Thank you for sharing yourself here, we've been coming to Grace since Jan, and even though we haven't met yet, I feel as if I know you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing...I think we all have a choice-we can allow God to work all things together for His good or we can allow the enemy to keep us forever defeated by our past. Thankful that you too have allowed God to turn your mourning into dancing!! Bless you my friend!!
ReplyDeleteAnd let's make this friendship official-find me some Sunday at church. I'm usually in the hallway-smiling & giving out free hugs!!